August 25, 2010

Bitter or Better..A Re Post

I know I said that I didn't have the heart to continue with this blog, and in a way, I don't, but because of something that happened, recently, I thought that it would be a good time to re-post this. If for no other reason than to remind myself of my own philosophy of how I want to react to the negative things that happen in my life.

Reading this, again, reminds me that not all people are going to act as I expect them to...that people are not always the kind of persons that I believed them to be, nor as trustworthy as I would expect them to be. They will not always like me as I thought they did...but even so, I know that the opinions of others do not change the reality of the truth of myself. That truth being that I am a loving, understanding, forgiving individual, and my prayer is always that I never hold on to bitterness, resentment, nor unforgiveness...toward anyone, about anything.

My prayer for them is that they would come to know the peace that passes all understanding in their own hearts.

Bitter or Better

I've been writing quite a lot about some experiences in my life. Some of them have been funny. Some happy, and some downright tragic.

I think all of us have that in common. Life is not always "just a bowl of cherries" as the old song goes, so we've all had our share of good and bad, and have had the tragedy, too.

Some of us allow what's happened in the past to color every aspect of our lives. Some, more than others, because we are all different in our emotional makeup, and much of it is a result of our particular background, or upbringing.

I went to a therapist once, and he was amazed at the fact that I wasn't mad about anything. "Why aren't you mad?" he kept asking. "You should be mad. You have every right to be mad!"

But I wasn't. I'm not. I don't know why. Maybe, it is just because I am a forgiving person. Maybe, it is because I understand that people, for the most part, do the best they can. It may not always be the best, just the best that they can do. How they live their lives, and how they treat us, is a direct result of their own upbringing. It is a cycle that is sometimes broken, but sometimes it isn't.

Maybe, it is because I understand that we can't change our past. We can't change the fact that people don't always love us, or think well of us. Maybe, it is because, in spite of everything that happened to me in my past, I decided to become better, rather than bitter.

Much of what we feel, on a daily basis, is a direct result of how we react to the way others treat us. I read somewhere that life is ten percent of what happens to us, and ninety per cent, how we react to it. I have to admit, though, that sometimes my "reactor" just doesn't want to cooperate with maybe I am angrier than I realize!

I'd hate to think that this is so.

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. ~Ecclesiastes 7:9~


Purple Cow said...

Anger is not as negative an emotion as it is perhaps believed to be. I think that we need to have it or else we would be too tolerant of injustices in this world. I am angered more by grand injustices (poverty, public theft, tax evasion, illegal parking, lies etc) than petty people. Petty people do not deserve our anger or our attention and you are right not to concern yourself with them.

Take care of yourself.

Jonizal said...

nice, good job
check this out i has catz ;D

Donald Douglas said...

I'm not an angry person, but I find myself more and more get angry --- or at least frustrated -- at how lies passed by the left have increasingly become "truth," and if you fight those lies you are a "hater."

I'm not a hater. But since I'm more and more often labeled as one, and this has had serious consequences, I'll take off my gloves a bit to fight the smears and attacks.

Very nice post by way.

Genda said...

I do not fully understand this article, because my english language that weak. But one thing I understand from this life is to see good and bad as the color of life. Not to impose my perception of the good life on all those around us. Thus I was able to live this life easier and certainly makes us react in peace to all problems.

Z said...

please email me again..I can't find your address.
Great post! xx

Donald Douglas said...

Merry Christmas!

Looking forward to some new material, perhaps for the new year!

Gypsy Butterfly said...

Hello Jan,
This is a beautiful post.
I am very sorry for what took place a few months ago. I wanted to email you and apologize to you about what happened over the summer, but your email would not open up on your about me page, so I am apologizing to you here.
I was very wrong not to respond to your emails and I now also realize I was very wrong not to go with my own gut feelings of how you are, which to me you seemed to be a very friendly kind and caring person. You describe yourself well in this post and this is how I always felt you were like. I realize that we can sometimes make big mistakes and unintentionaly hurt other people listening to what others are saying about them.
I just wanted you to know the "vulture" post on my blog never had anything at all to do with you.
If you ever want to email me my email address is
I understand if you do not want to email me, I actualy don't blame you if you don't.
Again Jan, I'm so sorry if I ever made you sad by my wrong actions.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful new year and may all your wishes come true this year.
Have a wonderful day,