May 08, 2010

In Honor Of My Mother

I loved my precious little mother so much, and I've missed her every single day that she has been gone, but the feeling of loss is so much more pronounced when Mother's Day rolls around. I think of all the other Mother's Days, in days gone by, when she was still in my life, and I wonder if I always gave her the honor, of which she was so worthy.

I know how much I loved her, and there is no measure for way to measure it, but did I always do everything that was within my power to show her how very much I loved her? I've thought of it, often, and there are only a couple of times, that I can remember, that I know I hurt her, however unintentional it was. Once, was when I asked her why she had stayed with my stepfather, considering all the times that he treated her cruelly, and many times, humiliated her. I just didn't understand, and so, one day when he had ridiculed her for some silly reason, had spoken so harshly to her, I asked her, "Why do you stay with him? Why don't you leave him, and come and live with me?" The look on her face, of shock, and, yes, pain, cut me to the very quick, as she answered, "Because I love him, Janice."

That night, while lying in bed, remembering our conversation, and her expression, and her answer to the insensitive, and thoughtless question that I had asked her, I told the Lord that if I lived to see tomorrow, I would tell my mother how very sorry I was that I had hurt her, and ask her forgiveness...and I did. And so typically of my mother, she answered, "Oh, Janice...there is nothing to forgive. You're my girl." How my heart yearns to feel the warmth, and the love of that hug that she gave me, then. Also, typically, she said, "Daddy never means to hurt my feelings by the things he says and he does. I know he loves me. He just doesn't know how to show it."

That was another wonderful quality that she had...she never blamed anyone for anything. She was always willing to forgive, and not only to forgive, but to forget. At least, if she did think about it, she never brought it up, again. Her life was not an easy one, and she suffered much mistreatment in a lot of ways, but she never felt sorry for herself, and rather than blaming others for their misdeeds, she chose to forgive them. She offered her heart to them, without guile.

What a wonderful world it would be if we could all be that forgiving of one another. I know that there are myriads of different families, circumstances, lifestyles, and personalities, and I know that there are such conflicts in some families, for many reasons, that it is often easier said than done, but still...wouldn't it be wonderful if we all could? And if we could, we would?

My prayer, always, is that I never hold onto resentment, bitterness, or unforgiveness, toward anyone, for anything. Like my mother, I choose to let it go.

On this special day, in honor of my own precious, and beloved mother, Sarah, I offer this same prayer for you, and mothers everywhere.

May you forgive, and be forgiven. May you show honor,and receive it as you give it. May your hearts be filled with peace and love.

Mother, the memory of you is worth more than all the treasures of the earth.