January 12, 2009

We're Back Home

I know that many of you are wondering why I've left the same post up for so long, and haven't been around to your blogs. I will tell you, but it is not a happy story.

On New Year's Day, my cousin, and her husband of only a couple of months, were involved in a head-on collision in Alabama, where they both lived. He was killed instantly, and was buried on the following Monday. Susan, although crushed from the chest down, and brain-dead, lived for five days. It was a terrible decision to make concerning disconnecting life-support, but it wasn't necessary, because her heart stopped beating on its own.

As sad and tragic as all of that was, one of the saddest things was something, that we can learn a lesson from..be financially prepared, in some way. They were not, and we had to suddenly scramble around, trying to get the money required for Susan's burial, at the very last minute. The funeral home was adamant in their policy of not doing anything in preparation for a funeral, until they had the money up-front, which is understandable, I guess, especially in light of today's economy.

To make matters worse, her parents are both deceased, and her maternal grandmother is the one that the burden fell on, mostly, and she was unable to do anything. Two days after the accident, she fell and broke a hip..she is eighty-seven years old..and was out of it as far as being able to tell anyone whether or not there were burial policies of any kind. We finally found a couple of very small ones, which covered some of the expense, but the rest of the money, which came to nearly seven thousand dollars, had to be raised among friends and cousins, who were already into some dire financial straights, because of the economy. We managed to do it, but it was very stressful for all concerned. Of course, there were flowers to be bought for the funeral, as well, which was above and beyond the costs of the funeral.

I never heard, but I think that his family paid for his funeral, which was a great help. Unfortunately, they were not buried together, because he was buried in his family plot, and Susan was buried next to her mother in another cemetery. The important thing was that everyone did what they could, because they were family.

My Aunt Virginia didn't get to go to her granddaughter's funeral, and was still in the hospital when we left down there. A lot of our time was spent with her, there in the hospital, and the rest of the time we were running around everywhere, and on the phone, trying to get the arrangements finalized.

We got back home, late Friday night, and ran into all the bad winter storm weather. I have been in bed, sick, since that night. My husband was sick when we left going down there, and I started getting sick, the next night, but tried very hard to stave it off. It didn't work, and as it turned out, we had to stop for an extra night on the way home, because we both were just so sick. He's better, and taking care of me, but we could both use lots of prayer, if you are so inclined. It would be much appreciated.

I know this has been long and rambling, but I wanted you to know why I have neglected my blog for so long. The family still needs a lot of prayer..there are layers of tragedies in that story, which I am not at liberty to go into, but please pray, especially for my Aunt Virginia, Susan's daughter, Mandy, and Susan's two brothers.

James 4:14 KJV: "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."

I think those are words that we should all heed.

Love and appreciate your loved ones, and special people in your life, each and every day.


GUYK said...

Jan, I am sorry. What a tough way to have to start a new year.

Jan said...

Guyk..thank you.

Yes, it was very sad.

Donald Douglas said...

Well, Jan, that's a very emotional story, for an emotional week or so you've had.

As always, you are in my prayers, but I'll be putting a special word for you tonight.

Be well and look after yours.

Nancy said...

Ah, Jan, I'm so sorry that this happened. I'll drop a word for your Aunt too, as now she's outlived a child and a grandchild as well.

Jan said...

Donald..yes, it's been a bad few days, and prayers will be appreciated,thank you.

Jan said...

Nancy..thank you.

I talked to my aunt today, and she is back home, but very sad, of course.

All prayers will be greatly appreciated.

sheoflittlebrain said...

Oh Jan, how sad...
I've been worried about you and, as it turns out, rightly so.
I am praying for you and your husband and all your family. My heart goes out to the poor Grandmother who is just a few years younger than my Mom.

Papa Frank said...

May the peace of God that surpasses all of our understanding be with you, my friend, and with the family.

rockync said...

I'm so sorry for your family's loss! And all the complications, how awful for everyone.
My mother in law has a policy to cover her funeral and we know exactly what she wants.
My husband and I have already bought our cemetary plots but haven't looked into a pre-paid policy yet - guess we better.
Warms thoughts and prayers coming your way.
Peace, Rocky

Dazd said...


My condolences to you and your family. I too have experienced sudden losses while wondering what is arranged or how to pay.

Prayers are sent and will continue!

Jan said...

She..thanks for your concern.

My Aunt is home from the hospital, and is doing well..all prayer is greatly appreciated.

Jan said...

Papa Frank..thank you so much.

Jan said...


I think those pre-paid funeral policies used to be more common than they are now, for some reason.

It's something that everyone should try to do, if at all possible.

Jan said...

Dazd..thank you so much.

Lydia said...

Hello Jan,
How very sad and tragic this is. I feel so bad for your whole family,the poor couple's daughter and rest of the family. I will surely keep you all in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Jan, you have done a lot and put up with a lot. No wonder you are sick. I hope after some rest you will feel more like your old self.

Jan said...

Lydia..thank you so much.

Jan said...


It was a trying time, but I think I am feeling better.

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