My Favorite Things

Remember the movie, "The Sound of Music"? Remember the tune of "My Favorite Things," which Julie Andrews sang in the movie? If you do, hum the tune as you read the following lyrics.

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

* Several years ago, a story circulated saying that Julie Andrews, to commemorate her sixty-ninth birthday, sang these lyrics at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) and the story is still making the rounds today, but it is not true. Unfortunately, she lost her ability to sing due to a mishap which occurred while having a polyp removed from her vocal cords. She sued the doctors, and Mount Sinai Hospital for malpractice, and settled out of court for an undisclosed amount of money, which was, reportedly, in the millions.

"Will I ever come to terms with not singing? I don't know. I miss it very much, indeed."

Julie Andrews