August 16, 2007

Eight Things A Woman Says

And men have no clue...

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and he needs to shut up.
Five minutes: If she is getting dressed, it means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if he has just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and he should be on his toes. Arguments which begin with "Nothing", usuallly end with "Fine."
Go ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!
Loud sigh: This is actually a word, but a non-verbal statement, often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks he's an idiot and wonders why she is standing here, arguing with him about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
That's okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay, means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when he will pay for his mistake.
Thanks: A woman is thanking him, and he must not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Don't worry about it, I got it: This is one of the most dangerous statements, meaning that this is something a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will result in the man asking, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, refer to #3.

Okay, dear reader gals and guys out there...I know that there isn't a single one of you who would even come close to experiencing any of this stuff with your significant other, but one of the most important pieces of wisdom that my Big Mama gave to me was this:
"Them that don't listen have to feel"


sue said...

These are great... and OH SO TRUE! lol!

Jan said...

Sue..oh SO true. LOL And thanks!