The Way Kids See It

STORY OF ELIJAH The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut a steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times "Now, asked the teacher, "Can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?" A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"

LOT 'S WIFE The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt,when little Jason interrupted, "My Mommy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"

GOOD SAMARITAN A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

DID NOAH FISH? A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?""No," replied David. "How could he, with just two worms?"

HIGHER POWER A Sunday school teacher said to her children, " We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" One child blurted out, "Aces!"

MOSES AND THE RED SEA Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt . When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

THE QUILT Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt "Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."

Words of Wisdom

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others,you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

~Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

Close Your Eyes

All this stuff about school starting back, and all the writing and talking about it, has stirred up one of my memories about it...well, about school, anyway.

This was one of my first grade experiences, a few years past Eugene the Traitor, and I was in love again. His name was Micky, and he had a head-full of platinum curls, and he is the type, I'm sure who grew up to be some kinda goregeous hunk! But I digress.

Micky was in love with me, too, because he told me so. We declared our love, in a note, passed from one desk to the other, until it reached its intended destination. It was printed by Micky, on a scrap of notebook paper, and said, I love you. Do you love me. Put yes or no. It had two lines drawn, one for "yes", and one for "no." With trembling hand, I printed "yes" in the designated spot, and sent it back from whence it came.

In school, in those days, in all classrooms, , the first order of business was to say The Pledge of Allegiance, and The Lord's Prayer. It didn't take long at all to learn it by heart. It was especially easy for me to learn, because I just loved words--hippotamus being the very first one I learned to spell, long before being old enough to go to school. But, again, I digress.

One morning we were saying the Pledge of Allegiance, and The Lord's Prayer. I always closed my eyes when we said The Lord's Prayer, but this one morning, I opened my eyes, for only a second, to get a glimpse of Micky, and there he was staring right back at me. I blushed with pleasure knowing he was looking at me.

When the prayer was over, I heard Micky, "Miz Whiteside! Miz Whiteside!" he was yelling,and waving his hand to get her attention. "What is it, Mickey?" she asked.

"Miz Whiteside, when we were saying the Lord's Prayer, Janice didn't have her eyes closed!"
My heart was pounding, and I couldn't believe my ears! Micky, The Boy of My Dreams, was telling on me! I could feel the heat in my face, as I dropped my head in shame, thinking that I sure never wanted to look at him again!

"Micky," came Miz Whiteside's voice of sheer wisdom, "if you hadn't had your eyes open looking at Janice, you wouldn't have seen that her eyes weren't closed." I just had to look up so I wouldn't miss his moment of humiliation, too. Needless to say, that was the end of our romance.

Thinking back over some of my experieces in love at such a young age, I realize now, why I had to kiss so many frogs before finally finding my prince.