April 26, 2010

It's Your Life


Invite Your Friends Carefully

Observe the relationships areound you. Pay close attention.

Which ones lift, and which ones lean?

Which ones encourage, and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill, and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or worse?

Which ones have drama, or don't really know, understand, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the Front, and who should be moved to the Balcony of Your Life.

If you cannot change the people around you, CHANGE the people you are around.

Remember that the people we hang with will have an impact on both our lives, and our incomes...so we must choose the people we hang out with, as well as the information with which we feed our minds.

We must not share our dreams with negative people, nor feed our dreams with negative thoughts.

It's your choice, and your life...it is up to you, who and what you let in it.

~Author Unknown~

I have my own thoughts about this, having experienced some rather toxic relationships in my own life.

Sometimes, the people around us are not the ones that we have chosen, but are just part of the package of life, so to speak. We don't get to pick and choose our relatives, certainly, and then when we marry, we get the relatives that our spouses didn't get to choose, either, which makes for an even more complicated set of circumstances at times.

Sometimes, it seems that some of our worst enemies are our own relatives, and when that's not the case, it is an added blessing...however, it doesn't always work out that way, as I'm sure you are aware.

Yes, we can choose our friends, and when they don't work out, we are free to go our own separate ways, but what to do about our own relatives? Well, my husband and I have discussed this many times, and prayed about it, just as much...especially when we were having a very difficult time with one of my relatives, who was giving us a lot of grief over the care of my invalid mother....which resulted in banning her from our home, for awhile. He said that we should love our relatives, but we don't have to subject ourselves to their toxic behavior...and that's true.

One day as I was praying, I asked the Lord why my aunt seemed to hate me so much, and tried to find fault with everything that I tried to do in the care of my mother, and suddenly, it came like a bolt out of the blue. It wasn't that she hated me so much, but that she loved my mother, her sister, so much! After that, I began to view it in that light, and it seemed that a complete change came over my aunt, and our relationship was restored, and after a few years, she told me how very sorry she was that she had acted the way that she had, and asked my forgiveness.

Now, we are closer than ever, and she thinks there is no one else in the world who knows as much about taking care of an invalid, or anyone who needs any kind of care. She now calls me her daughter, and asks my advice about everything. LOL...yes, I have to laugh out loud, when I think of the goodness of God, and how He is able to work all things together for good, if we will only allow Him. If we ask, He will give us guidance and direction as to whom we should allow a front row seat in our lives!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
~Proverbs 3:5-6~


Anonymous said...

Thanks for this and so many other uplifting thoughts and tomes. God Bless You.

Jan said...

Anonymous...I'm glad you are able to get something out of what I write.

Thank you for your kind words..they help me to want to continue writing my blog, even tho at times, I don't feel that I have much to offer.

God bless you, too! :)

Donald Douglas said...

You have a lot to offer, Jan.

I understand what you mean about the relatives, since I'm at the point where I can't even go visit mine anymore. On Easter, I didn't go to Washington after all, partly because there was going to be no way to meet up with you and your husband. I'm going to make that trip one of these times. I need to be around people of strong values and faith. The lefties are so evil, but we have to continue fighting them.

So, yes, you should post messages every day.

Jan said...

Donald..thanks, I appreciate your comments.

I'm sorry to hear that about your relatives, as it can be ao upsetting for you and your family

You're right..you do need to be around others of like faith...it is strengthening.

I hope you get to make it to Washington at some time Maybe next year it will all work out.

Just keep the faith, Donald. I know that you get a lot of heat from some of those who are diametrically opposed to all that is good and right, but you always stand your ground with them.

Honestly, it takes a very strong person to contend with all of that..but you know from whence your strength and determination come.

Northwoods Woman said...

Thank you Jan! As always, you are an inspiration to me! Your words always mean so much! God Bless YOU!

Jan said...

Livey...thank you so much for your kind words--you inspire me, too!

May God continue to bless you, and to keep His hand of protection upon you and Mr. Buzz

kdzu said...

Such great words of wisdom.

For the past two or three days I've found myself repeating the mantra of "I am the one responsible for my own happiness". It has led to a bit of soul searching and some unpleasant thoughts, but is so true.
Thank you for printing this. It deserves a link from everyone.

Jan said...

kdzu..thanks for dropping by, and thank you so much for your comments..they are much appreciated.

You are right--we are responsible for our own happiness. I think we would all be a lot happier, if we acknowledged this, and stopped making everyone else responsible for how we feel.

Soul searching can be unpleasant, sometimes, but so worth it, don't you think?