February 01, 2010

It's Time To....

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.... ______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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9 comments:

The Hermit said...

How come when I was teaching no funny things like that happened. I got the ones who went to the bathroom in the sink or spit in my coffee cup.

Jan said...

LOL..no wonder you gave up teaching, Hermit!

Seriously, though, it's a good thing you're not teaching, nowadays..pranks are much more serious than spitting in a coffee cup. It's much more likely to be poison of some kind, unfortunately.

What DID happen to all the little angelic kids, I wonder?

The Hermit said...

They all go to private schools.

Jan said...

Now, why didn't I think of that? :)

Donald Douglas said...

"Because George still had the axe in his hand.... "

I like that!!

Always On Watch said...

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher


LOL! As a teacher, I get a real kick out of that one.

I have to say, however, that I don't find that lack of paying attention to the teacher true of the homeschoolers I work with.

One of my homeschoolers gave me a sweatshirt that says "If I'm talking, you should be taking notes." And they do!

Gypsy Butterfly said...

Hello Jan,
Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a kind comment.
Wishing you and your hubby a wonderful Valentine's weekend!
Lydia

Jan said...

AOW..home schooling is the best, I think!

I've tried to comment at your blog, but it won't post, for some reason. Your'sw and another, I'm having trouble commenting on.

I hope you and tmw are making it through the terrible snow storm, and that Mr. AOW is getting better every day!

I hope you all enjoy your Valentine's Day!

Jan said...

Lydia, I was so sorry to hear about your little kitty, and I know how very sad you all must be.

Your's is the other blog that I am having problems commenting on.

I wanted to wish you and your family a Happy Valentine's Day, and to wish your little girl a very Happy Birthday!