July 10, 2009

Of Shoes And Purses

There's just something about me, and shoes...I like them. Shoes and purses. Mama always told me that when I was a little girl, that I would choose a purse over any toy, including dolls. When asked what I wanted Santa to bring me, my answer would be, " A puhse"--I couldn't pronounce it correctly at that tender age, but I sure knew what they were, and I loved them! Even now, when I find a pair of shoes that I really, really like, I will buy them in different colors. Females are strange critters, I know, and we are blessed, indeed, if we can find a man wonderful enough to put up with our strange ways, and not only that, but to be a real help in any situation.

For instance, several years ago, when my husband worked at the Kennedy Space Center, we lived there, right on Indian River, across from where they launched the shuttles. It's beautiful there, but it is so hot and humid, that it sometimes it makes just ordinary tasks seem nearly impossible--and oh, yes, I do have a "for instance" about that, too.

One evening our church took all the young people to a skating rink, which I loved, because I always loved skating. We all were having a great time, gliding around the rink, doing our special little moves. Except that I suddenly wasn't really gliding, more like stumbling along. I realized that one of the wheels on my skates was not functioning properly, and decided to go to the changing room for another pair.

I was easing myself across the carpet, when I suddenly felt myself falling, headlong, with no way to stop myself. I fell like a ton of bricks, with my left hand taking the full brunt of the fall. It was bent backwards, with the tops of my fingers, touching my arm. The pain was so intense that I couldn't move. It seems that there had been a hole in the carpet, and the wheel of my skate rolled right into it, throwing me forward.

Needless to say, I was in the hospital for five days, having undergone surgery, to instill five pins in my wrist, hand, and arm. My wrist was broken in eight places, and the bone in my lower arm was broken in two places.

I don't have to tell you what a predicament that put me in, as far as trying to do things for myself, such as getting dressed. I had a cast from my wrist, all the way up to my arm pit.

The worst times were when I would try to get dressed for church, because being the prim and proper little lady that I am, I wouldn't have dreamed of going to church without wearing pantyhose! And just by the way, have any of you ever tried pulling on a pair of pantyhose with one hand, over legs covered with perspiration from all the humidity, that not even air conditioning going full blast would remedy? And did you ever have to have your husband do the deed for you, while instructing him how to roll them up, position them over your (wet) toes. slowly, and carefully unrolling them up the entire length of your (wet) legs, keeping them straight, so that the seam of the panty part of them would be in the right place? And when it wasn't, pulling and manipulating them, until it was, almost, but not quite? Well, let me tell you, by the time it was over, we would both just about be in tears--of frustration if it turned out to be a long struggle. But, oh the joy when it went well, and we had plenty of time to get my shoes on, and to church on time.

One of those times, when things had gone well, we so enjoyed our time at church--sitting through the service, singing in the choir, a potluck dinner at church, There was only one hitch to that wonderful day! Just as we were going in the door, back at home, I looked down to see--yep, you guessed it! My two feet, each with a shoe exactly like the other, except for one little thing. Each shoe was a different color! Even now, I'm almost embarrassed to think about it, but that's what I get for buying the same shoe in different colors! My husband tried to console me, saying that no one had even noticed. I asked him if he had, and he said, "Well, yeah, but not until it was almost time to come home."

I still don't know if anyone else noticed it, but my only consolation is that if they did, they have forgotten it by now. Sure wish I could.

In case you're wondering, I have another little anecdote about shoes, and if you'd like to hear about that one, too, just let me know, and I will be happy to humiliate myself again, just for you, my dear, dear readers.


Roxi said...

Poor, Poor Jan,
I am so sorry that you have to humiliate yourself for us. But, after today I really needed that little anecdote. I really liked the shoes part.
But, it could have been worse. A lady (her story was in the MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS part of the Country Woman Magazine) she had bought a really nice white porcelain pot. She made chili and put it in the pot and went off to church. When they were all gathered around eating, a nice little old lady pulled her aside and asked her if she knew what kind of pot she had bought her chili in. She said no. The little lady told her it was a chamber pot that they put in bedrooms back in the day to go to the bathroom in. LOL!! So it could have been worse, my dear.
I thought of that when you were saying that about your shoes. Very embarrassing, but no one said anything so, that could have been a good thing or not. But, me, I wouldn't ever ask. Me, I would be hiding my face for a long time. LOL!! Sorry.
My Baby was telling about my afternoon at work in his post. I really needed the laugh, thank you dear Jan. I will try to post about it.

Don Miller said...

Jan, how interestingthat you lived that close to the Space Center. I grew up from about 3rd grade until junior high in Florida. The last place was out on Merritt Island three miles from the launch pad. We saw all the launches of the early space program, including John Glenn's famous flight as the first man into orbit. What a thrill for a 12 year old kid for the mountains of Tennessee.
The story of the shoe brought back memories. Once, when we were running really late for Sunday morning church I didn't realize until I stepped into the pulpit that I was wearing two different colors of boots.I always wore western boots with my suits and in my hurry , I had slipped on a browm boot and a black one. All I could do was show them off and say,"I like them like that so well that I have another pair at home just like them"
Jan, may God continue to bless you and your husband inyour work for Him.
In His Service DM

Z said...

LIke beige and gray or BLACK AND WHITE shoes!?? (heh!!)
I'll bet nobody noticed! But, OH, would we ladies be embarrassed!
What a spill..FIVE DAYS in the hospital..so sorry about that!

You're right about stockings over perspiring legs...AWFUL!! And, yes, it took me a long while to NOT wear stockings with heels, and longer to not wear them to church! Today, I had to go up on the altar to read and had slings on...I tried so hard not to let that FLAP FLAP FLAP, CLICK CLICK on the marble steps make so much NOISE as I went up and then back!! to no avail..!!Ah, well.....they told me the wrong Scripture Thursday so it serves them right (Smile!)

have a great day and thanks for stopping by, 'Honey'!

xxx Vinegar

Gypsy Butterfly said...

Hello Jan,
That fall sounded so painful! WOW!
I bet it was hard to do things with only one hand!
I love high shoes and I can't seem to bring myself to wear flats no matter what. I think it's because I like to look tall, cause I'm only 5"2 and 3 quarters(every inch counts).
What a cute story (not the part where you hurt yourself)!
Wishing you a great evening,

Gypsy Butterfly said...

hello Again Jan,
I tried to send you an email, but it would not send. I'll have to copy and paste your email address and send it from my email tomorrow morning.
I can only get on my email from my laptop and I'm on my other computer right now. It's terrible that I can't log into my email from my home computer.
Tomorrow morning I'll give you my email address too.
I'm looking forward to learning the information you have about the Native American animals!
Have a great evening,

Granny J said...

My Aunt Jo was a shoe person. I recall as a little girl that she often had complete outfits in matching color, from dress and handbag to shoes and, of course, hat. Once I was free from the necessity of heels, nylons, girdle, gloves and hat all for a business luncheon, I never went back. At this point in my life, it's zoris, river sandals and, in winter, faux Uggs. But I still enjoy looking at pretty shoes.