January 17, 2008

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^<>C% ........ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE : I invented the chicken!

DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Yes, I know this has been around the block a few times, but I thought it was a good reminder of what goes on in a presidential election. Whether or not an answer makes any sense, could just depend upon the one you ask.

It's a long, long, time until November--maybe, by then we will know the real reason the chicken crossed the road.

Maybe, we should just ask the chicken.


rockync said...

"ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."

I'm with ole Ari on this one. :)

The Frank Family said...

Barack Obama: My friends, let us boldly learn from the chicken that we need change. We can cross that road as did the fearless chickens of the past!

Jan said...

rockync..but you know that there are those who would disagree, don't you? :)

Jan said...

Frank family..I absolutely love your sense of humor!

For a minute there, I thought I'd missed something that Obama really said! LOL

I hope others will add their own ideas, too! :)

rockync said...

Ah, Jan, the human race! So disagreeable! LOL

Jan said...

rockync..I know, but sometimes it is rather amusing,don't you think? LOL

sue said...

I hadn't seen this one... pretty good. Thanks for the laugh!

rockync said...

Jan, if I didn't have contrary folks to rile me up once in a while, I believe my heart would just stop beating out of boredom!

Jan said...

Sue, you're welcome! :)

Jan said...

rockync..then you don't have to worry, 'cause there are certainly plenty of those around! :)

Yehudi01 said...

Very funny! I wish I had come across this first, Jan...I would've posted it! ;)

Jan said...

yeshudi..be my guest! :)

k said...

rockync, I am SO with you on that.

Jan, I never saw this one before. It was great! Thank you.

And here's one you may have heard before:

--Why did the chicken cross the road?
--To prove to the armadillo that It Could Be Done.

Jan said...

k..I've never heard that one before..thanks! :)

Anonymous said...

It made the rounds in Texas around 20 years ago, big time.

It works in Florida, too. But only in the rural areas. Everywhere else? We already hit them all.

k said...

oops! that was me not anon.