January 21, 2008

So, How'd You Break Your Arm?


A friend sent this story to me. Even if you don't ski you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as expressed in the following account:

A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart. Conditions were perfect...12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over...the "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.

One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away. If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature of 12 below doesn't help matters. With time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods and no one would even notice. He assured her, "The white will provide more than adequate camouflage."

So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her ski pants and proceeded to do her thing. If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right way and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move.

Yup, you got it!!! She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving... even during the most embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the trees...somehow missing all of them and onto another slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while. She continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the other skiers. The woman skied back under the lift and finally collided violently with a pylon.
To add to all of that, she had broken her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants.

At long last her husband arrived, putting an end to her nudie show, then summoned the ski patrol. They transported her to a hospital.

While in the emergency room, a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk. "It was the stupidest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly, I couldn't believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman skiing backward, out-of-control, down the mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift." ... "So, how'd you break your arm?"

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have only one comment; BAWAWAHAHAHA!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I'm laughing fit to bust a gut here...

Jan said...

rockync..can't you just picture it? LOL

Jan said...

Morris..don't do that!

Everyone will be asking, "Morris, how'd you bust that gut?" :)

Yehudi said...

Oh man, that's hilarious! True story?? If so, I need to take up skiing...I'm missing all the action!

Jan said...

yehudi..yes, it's supposed to be a true story..poor lady. And poor guy! LOL

k said...

WAHHH!!! That's hysterical!

I never know what I'll get when I come by here to read. Sometimes I sit and think. Sometimes I bust a gut giggling.

hey morris! hee hee!

Jan said...

k..glad to see you out and about! :)

k said...

It's still kinda up and down...

And: glad to see you out and about too!