Letter From Home

DEAR SON,
I'm writing this real slow 'cause I know you can't read very fast.

We don't live where we did when you left. Your daddy read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of your house. So we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the numbers off the house with them so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine.The first day I put four shirts in, pulled the chain and ain't seen them since.

It only rained twice last week, three days the first time, four days the second time.

You know the coat you wanted me to send you? Well, Aunt Sue said it would be too heavy to mail with the buttons on it. So we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill...up she comes!

Your sister had a baby this morning. I ain't heard if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to pull him out. He fought them off, so he drowned. We cremated him. He burned for three days!

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. One was driving; the other two was in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down.

There's not much news this time, nothing much happened.
Love, Mom