August 21, 2007

Bitter or Better


I've been writing quite a lot about some experiences in my life. Some of them have been funny. Some happy, and some downright tragic.
I think all of us have that in common. Life is not always "just a bowl of cherries" as the old song goes, so we've all had our share of good and bad, and have had the tragedy, too.
Some of us allow what's happened in the past to color every aspect of our lives. Some, more than others, because we are all different in our emotional makeup, and much of it is a result of our particular background, or upbringing.
I went to a therapist once, and he was amazed at the fact that I wasn't mad about anything. "Why aren't you mad?" he kept asking. "You should be mad. You have every right to be mad!"
But I wasn't. I'm not. I don't know why. Maybe, it is just because I am a forgiving person. Maybe, it is because I understand that people, for the most part, do the best they can. It may not always be the best, just the best that they can do. How they live their lives, and how they treat us, is a direct result of their own upbringing. It is a cycle that is sometimes broken, but sometimes it isn't.
Maybe, it is because I understand that we can't change our past. We can't change the fact that people don't always love us, or think well of us. Maybe, it is because, in spite of everything that happened to me in my past, I decided to become better, rather than bitter.
Much of what we feel, on a daily basis, is a direct result of how we react to the way others treat us. I read somewhere that life is ten percent of what happens to us, and ninty per cent, how we react to it. That's a choice that we can make.
I have to admit, though, that sometimes my "reactor" just doesn't want to cooperate with me...so maybe I am angrier than I realize!
I hate to think that this is so.

7 comments:

DNR said...

I'd bet you don't have a bitter or angry bone in your body.

Jan said...

Well...not just at this very moment! LOL

Livey said...

I knew we were very much alike!

Jan said...

Will wonders never cease! LOL

sue said...

You are a much bigger (and better) person than I am.

Jan said...

No, I'm not, Sue...we all have our issues, and we deal with them, each in our own way.

Olivia Kroth said...

I like that sentence, Jan:
"I decided to become better, rather than bitter."
I will make it my motto. It makes sense to me.