March 29, 2009

Kids, Tell Us What You Really Think


LOT'S WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mommy looked back once while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"

GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence,"I think I'd throw up."

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"

HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been Learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"

MOSES AND THE RED SEA

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.

Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his Mother asked.

"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.

Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,

"The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

UNANSWERED PRAYER

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.

"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."

"So, how come He doesn't?" she asked.

BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"

The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER

During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, "Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?"

Tommy answered soberly, "I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!"

TIME TO PRAY

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. "Yes, sir." the boy replied.

"And, do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked.

"No sir," the boy replied. "I ain't scared in the daytime."

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).

For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "All girls."

This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"

Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying, 'All Men'!'

March 24, 2009

Wisdom Of The...First Graders



This is an email making the rounds, but just in case you haven't seen it, I thought I would post it here..it's just too good, not to share!


A first grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1.
Don't change horses-----until they stop running.

2.
Strike while the-----bug is close.

3.
It's always darkest before-----Daylight Saving Time.

4.
Never underestimate the power of-----termites.

5.
You can lead a horse to water but-----How?

6.
Don't bite the hand that-----looks dirty.

7.
No news is-----impossible

8.
A miss is as good as a-----Mr.

9.
You can't teach an old dog new-----Math

10.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll-----stink in the morning.

11.
Love all, trust-----Me.

12.
The pen is mightier than the-----pigs.

13.
An idle mind is-----the best way to relax.

14.
Where there's smoke there's-----pollution

15.
Happy the bride who-----gets all the presents.

16.
A penny saved is-----not much.

17.
Two's company, three's-----the Musketeers.

18.
Don't put off till tomorrow what-----you put on to go to bed.

19.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and-----You have to blow your nose.

20.
There are none so blind as-----Stevie Wonder.

21.
Children should be seen and not-----spanked or grounded.

22.
If at first you don't succeed-----get new batteries.

23.
You get out of something only what you-----See in the picture on the box

24.
When the blind lead the blind-----get out of the way.

25.
A bird in the hand-----is going to poop on you.


And the WINNER and last one!

26.
Better late than-----Pregnant

March 22, 2009

Letter From The Past


With all the turmoil in our country right now, it is easy to lose sight of what is really important. All we see is deception, greed, and corruption. We become depressed..discouraged, and begin to think that there is no hope..but there is, there has to be.

Today, reading this, I, again, feel encouraged, knowing that our land is still filled with men like I read about here, and as long as we know that, there is hope.

Read, "A Letter To My Father, From His"

You'll be encouraged, too.